I appreciate your special emphasis to all my posts.. and I thank you for your advice.

If I were you…, I'd interpret the situation, as you did it.., and I would advise the same.
But all what you know is only a part of the whole drama, observed through MY prism..
What was the trigger of my decision?
Frankly speaking, I've lost in my own thoughts.. But two main reasons I know definitely: strong feelings and conscience. All motives are tightly interconnected, and too complicated.
My decision is the "prevention" of her further in vain lost time with me…

"be a man and never give up"

Would it be as "man like" considered,. I mean to spend a year, or two years more with her,, and tell after: "I don't want to get married"? - I don't think so..