good boy or girl goes against the stream and is called difficult child… He denies all the rules and behaves disgustingly (as it might seem from the adults' point of view). In most cases this contradiction is only superficial… it can prove to be even self-contradiction. So, if speaking about children, whose character is in fact very flexible to improve, we shouldn't reproach them for their wrong behavior, but to clear the reason of their anxiety or troubles up and try to help them…
If speaking about adults and self-improvements in particular, psychological books, worked out especially for studying individually, without somebody's help, are very useful here. But returning to my initial statement - it is devilishly difficult to analyze our own behavior and then improve it. Having read a great many such books, I jumped to conclusion - that in real life they are very impracticable, we continue to offence "fellow creatures", be diffident, weak, or, on the contrary, rude, insensitive and